* Astronomy

This is a true story: 

 It happened one night, right after I gave what I thought was another one of my better lectures to about 100 interstate and overseas visitors at our local observatory. The night sky was clear and crisp and covered with stars Ive never seen it better. This was going to be a good night!

As the patrons shuffled outside for a quick look through our telescopes, a family group approached me with a look of wide-eyed amazement on their faces. I thought they must have been impressed with what they just saw and heard, and were ready to ask a lot of questions. What happened next completely stunned me!

The woman approached me first and, in a quiet, but firm tone said, Dave, we thought the talk was good and the slides were great, but we didnt believe any of this, were members of the Flat Earth Society. Huh? youre what? Wow! What was I hearing? For once in my life, I was speechless!

She said, The earth is shaped like a plate, thats why it appears round from space! Right! When the astronauts travelled around the earth in orbit they were really travelling around the rim of the plate, she added. 

Id heard a lot of things in 40 years of showing people the night sky, but this took the cake. Its hard to imagine that in this day and age there are really people who still believe that the Earth is flat, isnt it?

Now, I can take a joke just like the next bloke, Ive even been known to spin a yarn or two myself, but the obvious sincerity of this family threw me. They were serious!

After listening for a long ten minutes about how the church, prior to the 1500s, had it right, and how Copernicus belonged to the dark side I decided it was time to throw in my double whammy. If the earth was really flat I queried then all countries would have daylight at the same time, wouldnt they?

No reaction! Instead, I got an earful of how we are all being conned by the governments of the world and how Columbus, in all probability, really might have sailed off the edge of the earth, being replaced by a look- alike on his return. Why me?

Its a malady common to most people obsessed with an unrealistic belief system when confronted with an absolute fact, or logical counter argument, they dart off on tangents. 

Then what happens to all the water in the oceans when they get to the edge, I asked. All the water which disappears off the edges falls back to Earth as rain, she replied. Of course! How stupid of me. Simple isnt it?

At this point, my gaze shifted from them to the people around me. Hmm, maybe there was another member of the staff lurking nearby I could unload this conversation on to? No such luck! The only one within earshot was Pete who, overhearing the conversation, saw the look on my face and started pretending to realign the telescope.

Ive trapped Pete before but hes wised up to me now. It was then the terrible realization hit me - I was alone, completely alone, dealing with a conspiracy theorist!

In Braille-like fashion I fumbled with the keypad on my mobile phone behind my back trying to feel out the observatorys telephone number so I could ring the phone on the desk then have to excuse myself to answer the call. The ploy failed from lack of dexterity. I was never any good at Braille.

There was no way out, I had to somehow demonstrate to these people that there is ample proof of a round earth. Hey, what about the footage from space showing the earth rotating, I said, surely you cant argue against that!

I was wrong. I was outnumbered and outgunned. The photos taken from high up do show a round earth to the untrained eye, she said. But its an illusion, the earth's atmosphere actually becomes denser the higher up you go. This causes light to be refracted more, giving the appearance of a spherical earth. Err, right. Theres some solid physics there. How can anyone argue against that!

Then I thought, What about gravity? Oh that, she said, Gravity is a lie invented by the followers of the false round earth theory. The theory of gravity has never been proven. There is no gravity, only inertia. The earth moves through space like a giant elevator. We dont fall off because we are kept down by the earths inertia.

Oh, I see! She was convincing! I began wondering if the Astronomy For Dummies book I got for Christmas and so earnestly unwrapped was all a lie too. Maybe my wife was one of them as well! Nah! What was I thinking!

All good things must come to an end so, with a long yawn and after saying my goodbyes, I explained that I had a big day ahead tomorrow and needed to get some sleep. The next morning I decided to check out the Flat Earth Society on the internet, just in case this had all been just a bad dream. I hit Google and there it was, up on the screen in front of me. They really exist!
 

The Society was founded in 1993 by Lee H.O. Smith, (the H.O. stands for Harvey Oswald). According to their website, The bulk of the Society has a trilateral structure, with operations concentrated in North America, the British Isles and Australasia.

After a preamble on what the society is all about they go on to explain how, for centuries, mankind knew all there was to know about the shape of the earth. It was a flat planet, shaped roughly like a circle, with lots of pointy things hanging down from the underside. According to them, on the comparatively smooth topside, Europe sits in the middle of the circle, with the other continents scattered about the fringes, and parts of Africa hanging over the edge. The oceans lap against the sides of the Earth, they go on to say.

The site also tries to align itself with the Christian ethic by saying that for centuries, mankind knew all there was to know about the shape of the earth. It was a flat planet, shaped roughly like a circle. For those with opposing views, the church was able to either silence or execute nearly all the fanatics.

Its a shoot first, ask questions later mentality that stymied astronomy for nearly 1500 years.

Its at this point that Columbus again gets drawn into the equation. In an amazing statement they explain how, by using an elaborate setup involving hundreds of mirrors, he was able to create an illusion so convincing that it was actually believed he had sailed around the entire planet.

I'd had enough. It was at this point I clicked onto my email hoping to find a message from somebody sane. Hmm, one from a friendly Nigerian chap with a no catch offer to transfer $15 million into my account, another offering me Viagra at a reduced rate, three suspect ones from women I'd never heard of and a reply from the Lunar Embassy telling me I can buy one acre on the Moon for US$29.95... as long as I use a credit card now. 

Aaaargh!!! Wheres my scotch? - has anyone seen my glass?

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